Thursday, May 15, 2008

McCain's Delusional

St. John McCain's delusions are grand and defy rational explanation.
  • The US will "win" the Iraq War and withdraw within four years. This is the same man who foresaw a 100 year stay, predicted many "other wars" on his watch, and particularly wants to "bomb bomb Iran." His logic that defeating al-Qaeda will trigger victory in Iraq is silly. Al-Qaeda is a small component of the chaos there - their disappearance will not alter the Sunni-Shi'ite-Kurdish hatred that is the core of the conflict. Further, bombing Iran will turn Iraq into a powerkeg. The best case scenario has any American occupation forces in Iraq facing periodic attack. Worst case scenario - attacking Iraq will turn all of Greater Assyria into a war zone and a quarter million men will not be enough to hold the region. The only way to "win" the Iraq War is to end it by leaving.
  • Osama bin Laden dead or captured. This one is easy since he is probably already dead from his kidney disease. But we will never have the corpse; we will never prove it. As a living person Bid Laden long ago cease to be meaningful. He is a symbol to certain ignorant religious fundamentalists. He will continue to live as long as religious mythology commands the Earth.
  • Replace the IRS with a "flat tax." McCain's pink unicorn moment. I would love to see a simple tax of 25% on every dollar made from every source, the first $50,000 excluded. Won't ever happen. The tax code has millions of sections beloved by one group or another. Churches will fight for their chartable tax deduction. The real estate, banking, and construction industries depend on the home mortgage deduction. Business lobbyists have paid their bribes (campaign donations) for their tax credits, millionaires the same for their capital gains exemptions, and will they never give them up. Tax attorneys and accountants demand a complex tax code; simplicity means unemployment for them. Simple tax code = dream, pipe.
  • Weekly news conferences. With his temper? This will last until his first bad press week and will end with a string of curses on live television. If there is one thing all Americans from every political party agree on it is that a president is a like small child - he should be seen but not heard.
  • Replace the UN with a "League of Democracies." The UN isn't doing what we want so we will form our own club. This is Bush's failed "Coalition of the Willing" by a different name.
  • End partisanship. McCain's pink unicorns can fly moment. I can't decide if this is cute or really, really pathetic.

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